How to close a mentoring relationship in 3 steps
“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.”
— Bob Proctor
Closing a chapter it might be sad, while we forget to focus on all the opportunities that this end brings we choose to grow the sad feeling of letting go. In mentoring this should be done in a formal way that supports the mentee to move forward and focus on new goals of personal and professional development and maybe they choose to become a mentor and give back. More on the topic you can also read here in an older article.
First of all let’s talk a bit about mentoring. What is it? A relationship between two or more people with a goal set up for a personal or professional development. The mentor is usually more experienced and he or she is open to share their experience, stories, advices and knowledge to the less experienced person called mentee.
For example, as an international mentor for the Odyssey programme of Toastmasters I share my experience of speech writing, preparation and delivery, body-language and stage presentation with people from around the world who are looking to be mentored by somebody with a larger experience. This programme also inspired this article.
My mentees have goals we establish in the beginning and they set up the rhythm of development. The programme is set up in a way that after few meets you decide if you want to move forward with the same mentor or change. Also you receive an invitation to offer feedback about the experience. As a certified mentor it is important for my mentees to understand their involvement and their responsibility in the process, while they take charge for this. My role is to support them and to offer them information and knowledge that they can put near their own and build on both.
But at the end of the sessions a conclusion needs to be drawned. Ask your mentee how they want to mark this stepping stone. It is a great opportunity for them to be involved in this - talk about their feelings, enjoy the feeling of a good ending and a new journey.
Set up the goal of the meeting as a wrapping the mentoring relationship - this is also a good moment to request feedback and what you can do better in the future in order to improve as a mentor.
Acknowledge and celebrate the mentee for his/her work and developmental process. Bring up what are their next steps, the actions that they will do and who they will call (a support system) when they need help in moving forward if they are stuck. Maybe even invite them to reach out for a new mentor that will support them to their new goals and journeys.
Be grateful to each other for the road you have traveled and be sure to create space for this moment since it was both the mentee and you as a mentor that grew.
As a bonus idea I got from reading a LinkedIn article - ask them to buy a postcard (or you can buy it for them) and use it for the mentee to write his/her commitment to self. Send the post card to them in 3-6 months - it is going to be a great reminder to keep them on the path of discovery and development.
What other ideas do you have?
Photo by Olena Sergienko
