Stress control

Today I refuse to stress myself out

about things I cannot control or change

I have a full agenda these days - I don't complain because I like what I do and the fact that I have a overwhelmed planner with things to check every day means that despite the pandemic all is good, my projects bring value to the people around, add the events I launch or plan, the content I create for different people and environments to that - and you have a happy Ana :).

However, it is also a stressful period with many questions coming from different backgrounds and because these days I am participating in the National Conference of the International Coaching Federation Romania I remembered some things that I forgot to put on the agenda for the year 2021.

Mainly: what is in my control - so that I know that it is an area where I can stress because the results here depend only on me! Knowing that anything out of this list means that it is NOT under my control, so that should be a "stress free" area because my actions or my way of being does not change anything. So in theory I have no reason to stress over something I can't control in any way. But my partner tells me that I get stressed even when I am relaxed and there are no reasons around to stress therefore I stress over it :))
To have the impression that I have all is cool in Ana’s kingdom, I made a list of things easy to be kept under control. All this to be able to lower my cortisol levels in my blood. Why? Because although we have 3 hormones that the body secretes when stressed: cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine, the first one is primary and increases both the level of sugars (in the form of glucose) in the blood and the level of glucose utilisation by the brain. I want to have a harmonious relationship with myself, so this is my plan.

Let's see my list of things that I can control looks like:

• What I eat

  • here is why for a month I switched to the Keto diet and I feel that I have freed my body from unhealthy food, I feel good even though I eat a lot of meat, I am happy because I managed to eliminate sugar from the diet without doing a major effort.

• My behaviour and the way I react to those around me

  • what affects me and at what level, what I receive from the outside and what level of toxicity I accept in my life.

• Who I follow and who I don't

  • here I chose the advice area (maybe on the side of family, friends, colleagues), social media and podcasts - the goal is to have and be surrounded by useful and necessary information, and to eject negative circuits and too much noise.

• the personal limits

  • I have coaching clients who, after a session in this area, realise that they are imposing limits on themselves, but when it comes to other people, they don't even have a limitation - developing frustrations later. I have others who didn't even think until the age of 30-40 of setting personal limits. And here's an idea to write an article on this topic: how we set healthy personal boundaries :).

• How I talk to myself, but also to others

  • toxic behaviors are often easy to identify from the way the person speaks in relation to others, but also from the way she/he talks about or towards herself/himself.

• My actions

  • since high school, at physics I know that every action has a reaction, so if I want good things to happen, it is clear that I have to convey it all around me. And as I write these lines, that wise words come to my mind: if the words you spoke would appear on your skin, would you still be beautiful?

• Acceptance

  • difficult chapter for me, because sometimes people are left behind - and my personal development made me leave loved ones in the past, simply nothing filled the silence, or on the contrary the conversations were toxic because I did not know how to relate. Everyone has their own path and rhythm, you can't drag them after you, some want and can't, in this case you can support, you can stand next to them, and go at their own pace. Others can and won't - somehow the conversations in this area will always be toxic, because they will try to impose their version of truth on you in order to keep you at the same level, so that they will not be forced to leave the comfort zone. Others simply have not reached that moment in life in which to move on or to want to start a self development process. All the categories I’ve mention have good parts, if you decide it's what you want. But if it is not something that serves you then you need to reach out and seek acceptance, and that comes the area of ​​how I or you react. Yes, the simplest and most convenient way is to let go of emotions without understanding them. Or I choose the harder and healthy way: embrace the emotions, see where they come from and realise that my reactions from x or y, which are the stimuli that produce the emotion and also understand what kind of reaction triggers. This is a big part of self-knowledge and knowing what are your personal values ​​, but also what are your boundaries. Don't get me wrong, here's the part where I say it's about reactions, as they come, not about being insensitive.
    

This is pretty much my list with good and bad :). If you were to make your own list - what would be the things that matter to you when it comes to trying to reduce your stress? And what are doing in order to make them part of your daily routine.