What is mindfulness?
“Mindfulness gives you time. Time gives you choices. Choices, skillfully made, lead to freedom.”
Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
We often hear about the term mindfulness, and this has happened even more than usual these days. If you are on Facebook you already know what I'm talking about. The fact that I almost finished Jon Kabat-Zinn's "Mindfulness for Beginners" made me start to finish this article that was in draft for about 24 months.
My first interaction with the topic of the day was about 4 years ago. I was going through a very difficult period, where I had many questions and few answers, insomnia and a rather acute state of irritability. One of my friends, a trained psychologist, invited me to an event organised by her in which she presented what mindfulness means and why it’s good in our hectic life. To understand how on the edge I was with the nerves, I began to cry out in frustration that I couldn't find the address, even though I was using GPS. I called the host to tell her I wasn't coming! She managed to reach me and persuade me to listen to her attempts to guide me to the address. I was next door from the building ... Finally, there, along with other people of all ages and professions, we talked a little about what mindfulness means and how with this Buddhist tradition you can reduce stressful moments. Come on, it wasn't awkward, the people were interesting, and the atmosphere was just fine!
But what is "Mindfulness" really? It’s the ability of a person to be present "now, here". Pay attention to who you are and what you do, without letting your mind be reactive or overwhelmed by other thoughts and things around you. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Not realy! Attention is a muscle that needs training, just like public speaking or active listening. After a few games and exercises, I felt more at ease. I am not really the kind that meditates (unless the over-analysis on life and on the things I have done or said counts as meditation ;)), I said ”pass” to the second part of the event. Yes, my friend - at the mindfulness circle she was learning and doing meditation for those who wanted to take a step in that direction. That night opened my eyes and I tried to document myself a lot on the subject. Articles, mini-videos, opinions of some personalities, but also to talk to the people around me on the subject. They were all a search of a secret receipt for me to calm my mind and regain my sleep.
After reading several magazine articles, blogs dealing with the subject, I realized that there is actually nothing exotic and that everyone practices this on a certain level - it is called attention. It is an intimate thing, with you and about you and implies only your desire to enjoy moments at their fair value. So, there was no need for a major change in my life, but just an exercise cure to keep my mind in check when I want to keep it healthy and keep my focus on the thing or the person next to me. Pretty hard for a person that lives long enough in its own head to analyse every moment. The education of being present "here, now" gives you the freedom to innovate, and by organising your thoughts, also avoiding (in a discussion, in an action) to let your mind fly to:
- did I pay the bill,
- I have to give that email too,
- not to forget to call mom
all this helps you both the time management part and the stress of having to do many things at the same time.
Another thing that you will train if you start to be present in the present will be avoiding labels and assumptions. Because mindfulness is about keeping your attention moment by moment on the thoughts, feelings, sensations that your body perceives, what is happening around you. This implies acceptance, and the fact that you will pay attention to your feelings and thoughts without judging them, removing the thought that there is something "bad" or something "good." You focus on the present, not on reliving the past or imagining the future, leaving room for assumptions.
What brought my exercise to my attention? First of all, I started to remember people's names - a stress in the minus. I can focus on what I do, for a longer period, being anchored in reality. I have managed to organize myself much better, in terms of time, of the things I do and how I do them. I pay more attention to those around me and the way they are or are not present in the discussion. Can't imagine that I have reached the level of someone who has been doing this for 10 years, but I manage to keep my attention up to 45 minutes on a topic, and for me this is a personal record.
If what I have written so far seems interesting and you would like to try for a while to see if there are benefits for you, a simple method of practicing mindfulness (you can find meditation done like this, as well) is that of breathing. If you notice that your mind goes for a walk, breathe for 7 seconds for inspiration, hold 7 seconds and then expire for 7 seconds. Direct your thoughts on the air, the way you hear it, how you breathe it in, and the things around you. By focusing on you, you pay attention back to the present, now and here. Which means a return to what you had to do or the person you were talking to.
If you try, let me know and tell me how it works!
